Out!
by Tesra
Summary: This is loosely based on Episode 8, Season 8 - Enemies Foreign.  I don't own any of the TV show's characters, just my own.  Officer Amit Haddar wants out of Moussad, and Director David goes to extremes to make it happen.


Mousad Officer Amit Hadar stared out of the window into the bright sunshine of this August day, his thoughts wandering. "Hadar!" A voice brought him back to the here and now and he looked up to face his boss, his old friend and comrade at arms, Mousad Director Eli David. "Sorry Director – what did you say?" Eli studied his old friend. They had known each other since they both were very young men, full of enthusiasm, full of fire. Eli had risen through the ranks quickly and ended up as Director, and always Amit was by his side, having his back, watching out for him and protecting him. Many times had he put his life on the line for him. He was quick, focused and, when the necessity arose, deadly as a cobra. But today he seemed distracted, which was highly unusual and cause for concern. "What's going on, Amit? In all the years I've known you, I have never noticed you spacing out like this – are you getting old?" the latter was said with a chuckle. Hadar gave an appreciative grin. "Perhaps. Perhaps that's it – I'm getting too old for this job." Eli shook his head. "No, I know you as well as you know yourself. Age isn't the problem, but something is. Something has been bothering you and distracting you for the past few weeks. And since I have to trust you with my life at times, I need to know what it is and how we can get you past it. I need 100% of you, old friend." Amit shook his head. "You're right, Eli – something has been on my mind lately. I want out!" "Out? Out of what? What are you talking about?" Squaring his shoulders, Amit looked at Eli. "Out of this job, out of Mousad. I want to leave this job behind me and have a life. You are right about one thing – I'm not getting any younger, and I'm tired. Tired of the things I have had to do, tired of always looking over my shoulder, expecting an attack. I want out." Eli was stunned. Though he understood where his friend was coming from, he had never expected him to be the one to burn out. "What brought this on, Amit? " Amit ran his fingers through his short hair. "I want a life, for once I want a normal life – a wife, maybe a family if its not too late. You had that and lost it, and now two of your children are dead and the third, Ziva, hates you and has left you to become an American. I see what this does to you. And I want to make a change while I have the chance – maybe have the chance." Eli looked at him speculatively. "You met someone" it was a statement, not a question. Amit nodded. Yes indeed – he had met someone. A smile started forming on his handsome face as his thoughts wandered back – two years back to another sunny day in San Diego.

Two years earlier

Amit Hadar checked his watch for the 15th time. How can it be just 10 minutes later than the last time he checked? He was bored to tears. Director David and he had arrived in San Diego this morning for a conference with several high ranking personnel from the various branches of the military, and NCIS, who were hosting the conference. Recent terrorist activities in the Middle East had prompted this meeting, and his job, as always, was to provide security for Director David, his old friend Eli. Now, however, they were safely sitting in NCIS headquarters and their own agents had taken over the security detail. And Amit was left to his own devices until the end of the meeting when he was to escort Eli back to his hotel and keep watch. Eli noticed the constant watch checking and chuckled. He knew Hadar – the man was amazing in the face of danger, and he trusted him with his life, but he hated having to sit around doing nothing. He leaned towards him and whispered: "Why don't you head out and play tourist for a few hours? I'll be here late, and even you can't find fault with security here. So why don't you take some time for yourself and go have some coffee, check out the sights, amuse yourself. "Amit looked at him thoughtfully. "Are you sure?" "I think I can handle being on my own here at NCIS headquarters, don't you?" Eli answered, still chuckling. "Alright – be sure to call me when you're ready to leave. Do not leave this place on your own." Eli nodded. "Understood. Now get out of here before you drive me nuts with the constant watch checking." Hadar nodded and quietly got up and left the room.

He entered the elevator and was about to push the button when he heard a voice. "Hold that elevator!" He pushed the "open door" button and stepped back from the door just in time to admit the owner of the voice. That owner appeared to be female; he deducted that from the rather shapely, denim encased legs that seemed to sprout from a large potted plant. The rest of the person was hidden behind the foliage. "Thank you" she gasped, out of breath from running to catch the elevator. "You're welcome" he answered, his lips twitching in amusement. "Oh, could you push the ground button for me? I can't reach it". "Sure" he chuckled and pushed the button. "Thanks again" she said, and hoisted the plant to one side, revealing a pretty face with sparkling green eyes and laughing lips. This face was framed and partially obscured by a wealth of fiery red waves that fell well past her shoulders, some strands were entangled with the plant's large leaves. "Do you need some help with this plant? It looks like it is about to devour you" he said with a chuckle. She laughed. "Thanks – he's harmless, really. Just gotten a bit too big for his pot – and my office." "Oh, it's a he?" He had to ask. As long as he had lived, he never had been introduced to a male plant before. Or a female one for that matter. He reached out to take it from her, but as he tugged, the woman came with the plant, since her hair was still entangled with the branches. "Well, lets try something else" He handed the plant back to her and went to work pulling the silky red strands from its leaves. When she was free of the plant, he took it back and set it on the elevator floor. "Wow, thank you again. You are my savior" she laughed and extended her hand. "I am Nefertari Smith." "Nefertari?" "Well yes, my father was a huge fan of Ancient Egypt, and he figured with a last name of Smith I needed a first name with a bang." "And he certainly succeeded, Nefertari Smith". Amit gave an ironic little bow. When she looked at him expectantly he remembered to introduce himself. "Amit Hadar". "Oh, you're with the Israeli contingent, right?" He gave her a look. "What makes you say that?" Before she could answer the elevator had reached the ground floor and she bent to pick up her plant. He bent at the same time and their heads almost collided. He picked up the plant and handed it to her. "And thanks again" she chuckled. "I feel I should buy you a cup of coffee or something to show my appreciation".

Amit was about to decline, but something in those sparkling green eyes made him reconsider. After all he had several hours of free time on his hands, why not have coffee with this cute damsel in distress. "Well if you're offering..." She nodded. "I am. But if you don't mind, I would like to run by my place and drop off our friend here – I'm not sure he's housebroken enough to come to the coffee shop with us." He laughed. He found he was enjoying himself with this quirky girl. "No problem. Do you have a car?" She nodded. "Right over there" She motioned towards a candy apple red 1975 mustang. Her eyes shone with obvious pride. "That's my baby over there" "Niiiiiice" he said, and meant it. He had a thing for cars, and this one was not only a classic but in perfect condition. Not a scratch on the paint, chrome gleaming in the sun. She opened the doors, and he slid into the passenger seat, the plant sitting between them. "I see we have a chaperone" he quipped. She laughed, and he found he liked her laugh, easy and low in her throat, no shy little giggles there. It was infectious. "Fasten your seatbelt" she said and hit the accelerator. The car moved smooth as silk out of the parking lot and into traffic. 10 minutes later she pulled into the driveway of a little house right on the beach. "Well this is it, home sweet home. Want to come in while I tuck in Mr. Plant here?"

He nodded and followed her in. The house had the typical glass and metal architecture of the 60s, complete with flat, rounded roof and walls that were mostly glass from floor to ceiling. It turned to be out bigger inside than it looked from the front. A hallway opened up into a large, bright living room with light bamboo floor, a very retro Danish modern sectional and matching chairs, and a large flat screen tv. The colors were bright and dominated by oranges and yellows. The overall effect was warm, friendly and totally matched the occupant. Nefertari put the plant down near the big sliding glass doors that lead out to a large patio. "There – he'll like it here." Then she turned to Amit. "So, how about I make some coffee here – or would you like something else. We can sit out on the deck – it's the perfect day for it." He spread his hands in submission and smiled. "Aren't' you concerned about having a perfect stranger in your house|?" He asked. To his surprise she gave him a cheeky grin and chuckled. "Perfect - definitely, dangerous – I'm sure you are under the right circumstances, but since I met you in the NCIS elevator I assume you can be trusted. Besides – what makes you think I am helpless" He laughed "I have a feeling you are anything but."

Still laughing she disappeared in the kitchen to make coffee and he stepped out onto the patio. She had comfortable lounge chairs, a low table and a spectacular view of the ocean. He pulled out his phone to check in with Eli, who told him to relax and enjoy himself. He was going to have dinner with Director Vance and then be escorted back to the hotel by NCIS security. Amit found himself with a free day. Just as he put away his phone, his hostess appeared carrying a try with two mugs of coffee, a variety of flavored creamers and a sugar bowl. She set the tray on the little table by the chaise lounges and motioned. "Help yourself. I don't know what you prefer in creamer so I brought them all". With that she sat and nodded to him to do the same. He obliged, picked up a mug and took a sip. His face must have spoken volumes because she gave him an inquiring look from under raised eyebrows. "Anything wrong?" she asked. He shook his head and swallowed. "This" indicating the mug and taking a breath "this is truly horrible coffee". He had meant to be polite, and suffer through it, but her question had required an answer. Much to his surprise she laughed and shrugged. "That's what the creamer is for, silly. You're not supposed to drink it black!" The look on her face was pure wide eyed innocence. He just shook his head and grabbed the nearest creamer bottle and dumped about half the content into his mug. Then he took another sip. She was right, the sweetness of the creamer made it palatable. "See" she said with a satisfied smile. "All better".

After that they settled into a lively conversation of anything and everything. She told him about growing up with her father who was an Egyptologist and took her along on many expeditions. She kept him laughing with her tales of youthful mischief and adventures. As she grew older she worked with her father, and became a supremely talented researcher. Whatever random facts her father would collect, she was able to assemble them into some sort of order and see connections and leads that no one else did. After her father's passing she freelanced for other researchers, and occasionally for law enforcement. And that was how she ended up at NCIS – they had approached her to work on organizing a mass of unrelated facts and information to see if there was anything of importance hidden in the muddle.

Amit was impressed. He had taken her as clerk, strictly admin. Apparently there was much more to this girl than met the eye. In return he told her about growing up in Israel, joining the army, and then Mousad. She listened intently then asked. "And are you happy with your job, and your life?" He was taken aback. "Happy – I guess so. Its all I've been doing for so many years, I can't imagine not doing it" She nodded. By now the sun was starting to set, and she pointed to the ocean. "Watch". "Watch for what" he asked. "The green flash|" "What is the green flash?" "Well, once in a rare while, at the moment the sun sinks into the ocean, there will be a bright green flash that lights up the sky. Its there only for an instant, and if you blink, you miss it." He tilted his head. "And what makes you think it will happen today, if it is such a rare occurrence?" She smiled "No reason, but if we don't watch, and it does happen, we'll miss it. So what's the harm in watching?" He smiled - she had a fun way of looking at the world. "No harm at all" he agreed and leaned back into the chaise cushions to watch. And sure enough – the moment the sun disappeared there it was – a brilliant green light flashing up and out, and then it was gone. He looked over at Nefertari. She was smiling, her eyes wide and shining, her hands clasped by her chest, completely focused on nature's spectacle. He wondered, when was the last time he had been able to just take in and enjoy something so completely. "You're right, that was spectacular" he said, and she turned to him slowly, still smiling. "Im glad it happened today and you got to see it. I always feel it is a good sign for things to come." He nodded. "Lets hope so". Then he rose. "it was a really lovely afternoon, but I have to go now. Duty calls, Nefertari." She rose as well and smiled. "Tari will do, Amit. And you are very welcome. Let me call you a cab if you don't' mind – I'd rather not take the car out again tonight." "Of course" he agreed and watched her as she dialed the cab company. "Should be here in 10 minutes" she announced after she rang off. For a moment they stood there in companionable silence, and he felt a sense of loss at the thought of not seeing her again. "Tari –"he said. "I will be here in San Diego for another 9 days. I don't know what the schedule will be, but if I have free time, would you like to have dinner with me one of these days?" The words were out of his mouth before he knew it and he surprised himself. He was not one to seek any sort of socializing or entanglements. Her eyes lit up and she nodded. "That would be nice, Amit". Just then the cab pulled up and honked. He bent down to brush his lips against her cheek. "Good bye, Tari – I will call you" She smiled and handed him a small card. "My number might come in handy for that. Good bye Amit. I had a really nice afternoon" "Me too" he answered as he tucked the card away and headed to his cab.

He did see her again during his stay in San Diego. The fact that the conference was at NCIS headquarters meant his presence was not needed most of the time, and they ended up spending several days together. She showed him San Diego and the outlying areas. She was a never ending source of odd facts and information about the town and other things, never ceased to entertain him with her quirkyness and sunny disposition, and more and more he felt himself thinking about her when they were apart, and smiling when he thought about her. Then the conference came to an end, and he and the Israeli team were headed back to Tel Aviv. The night before their departure they had dinner together. She was uncharacteristically quiet, and he asked. "What's wrong,Tari? You're awfully quiet tonight". She looked at him, her green eyes somber. "I'll miss you, Amit. I mean, I always knew you were going back in a few days, but I gotten used to seeing you." He nodded. He felt much the same way. Before he could say anything, she continued. "I know you are busy, and you will very likely forget about all this once you're back in the swing of things in Tel Aviv, but if you have the time and you feel like it, it would be great if you could drop me an email once in a while, just so I know you're still among the living. And if you don't want to, or you can't, that's perfectly fine too – you will make a fine addition to my memory bank" He smiled at that and reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "I never know where I'll go or what exactly I'll be doing, but I will try to stay in touch when I can. I can assure you of one thing – I am not likely to forget you, you are a very memorable woman."

They finished their dinner and returned to her house. "It's a beautiful night" Said Tari. "Let's go for a walk if you have time". "I don't have to be back at the hotel until 6 am, so yes, a walk sounds great. " She slipped off her sandals and they headed down from her patio to the sand. They walked for a few minutes in silence, each deep in their own thoughts. He reached over and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Despite their considerable difference in height, her 5'3 to his 6'2 they fit well together. They stopped by some large rocks and looked up at the stars, leaning side by side against the rocks. "Amazing how close they look tonight" she said "so beautiful". He wasn't watching the stars; he looked at her upturned face, her sparkling green eyes and fiery red hair. "Yes, very very beautiful" he murmured and without warning dipped his head to kiss those smiling lips. She was startled for a moment, then melted into him. He kissed her thoroughly, taking his time exploring her soft mouth, and she responded enthusiastically. They were both out of breath when they drew apart. Their eyes met and they understood each other without words. Then finally she spoke. "Amit – I would love nothing more than if you took me back to my place and made love to me for the rest of the night" He was about to agree whole heartedly when she continued. "But you're leaving tomorrow, and more than likely we'll never see each other again. And as enjoyable spending the night with you would be, it has to be more than that. Not a forever commitment, but at least the possibility that there will be more. And we can't have that. So, for the sake of my fragile heart (the latter said with a twinkle in her eye and a smile) – I can't, we can't." He understood. His body was arguing the point, but his mind completely understood her point of view. She was right. She was unlike any of the women he'd ever been with – quick and meaningless encounters – sex to release stress, to celebrate victory, but never more than a passing fancy. He might never see her again, but he would never forget her either. He nodded. "Much as I would like to argue the point – you're right. " They walked back to her house and she walked him to his car. For a moment they stood and looked into each other's eyes. Then she spoke "be safe, Amit Hadar – and be happy". He smiled – his job did not make either likely. "I will try" he said. "You too, Nefertari Smith. I will email you when I get back home, I promise." "Good – I'd like that." He bent down to kiss her again. Again she responded eagerly and he reluctantly broke the kiss. "I better go" he smiled, placed one last kiss on her nose and got into his car. Tari watched him pull out of her driveway and into the night. Then she walked back into the house, murmuring "I'm not going to cry, I'm not going to cry". But of course she did.

That had been the beginning. And despite his job, and her job, and the distance between them, miraculously they had stayed in touch with almost daily emails and the occasional phone call. 10 months had passed and he had just wrapped up a particularly difficult assignment. He had some leave coming and he had an idea. He emailed her and invited her to come visit him in Tel Aviv. It was short notice, and he really didn't expect her to come, but somehow she made it happen. 10 months after he had said good bye to her in San Diego, he picked her up at the Tel Aviv airport. He had not seen her in 10 months, and he wasn't prepared for the jolt of pure happiness when he saw her walk towards him, looking a bit bedraggled from the long flight, but her eyes were shining and she smiled when she spotted him. He crossed the distance between them quickly and scooped her up in a hug. "Tari – you made it". She squeaked a bit and he realized he was hugging her a bit too tight. "Sorry "he grinned. She laughed. "No worries, I missed you too, I just lack the upper body strength to bend your ribs" she quipped. With his arm around her shoulder, and her bag in his other hand he escorted her through immigration and to a waiting car. The next 10 days were magical, the best in his life as far as he could remember. They made love her first night there, and it felt as natural and unavoidable as nothing ever had. And they both knew that despite their circumstances it was more than just sex and recreation. They spent every moment of her vacation together. He showed her his world, the beauty of the desert, took her to the Kibbutz where he grew up. They talked about growing up with only one parent, and losing that parent early in life – they had that in common. Her vacation ended all too soon and it was time to take her back to the airport. They kissed, promised each other they'd see each other soon, and then she was gone. He stayed until her plane had lifted off and disappeared in the sky, then he slowly returned to his empty apartment. He could still feel her everywhere.

Life went on, and so did their emails and phone calls, but this time it was different. Every time he talked to her, or wrote to her, he felt an emptiness that had not been there before. He missed her. Eight months after her visit he got another assignment that took him to the United States, Washington this time. She met him there and whatever free time he had, they spent together. And then he had to leave once again, and every time they said good bye it became harder. And slowly it became clear to him that he needed more than this, more than emails, phone calls and the occasional vacation together. He wanted out of the business; he wanted a life – a life with her.

Present Day

"Yes Eli – I've met someone." Eli studied his old friend carefully. He had known him almost all his adult life, and knew when he was serious about something. And he appeared quite serious about this. "Who is she? Do I know her?" Amit shook his head. "I doubt it. I met her when we were in San Diego for the Anti Terrorism Conference." "That was almost two years ago – you've stayed in touch with her all this time? It must be really serious." Amit shrugged. "It is what it is, and as long as I am in this job it cannot be more. I have given my life up to now to my country, and to you, Director. Now I want to live for me, and share it with her if she'll have me." "You have discussed this with her?" "No – until I am a free man so to speak I don't think it would be fair. " "Amit, if you are serious about this, I won't stop you. But you have been in this business long enough to know that your enemies won't care that you are no longer Mousad. Where ever you go – as long as you are alive there are those who will hunt you and find you and try to kill you. And in the process perhaps kill those you love." Amit sighed deeply. "I know - which is why I am asking your help. The only way for me to truly get out is to die. And I need your help with that. "Eli nodded. "And I will help you, old friend. I owe you that much and more. But before I do, I need your help one more time. I have to go to Washington for the NCIS Directors conference. And I need you to have my back. I have sent another team ahead, but you are the best at protecting me and I need the best for this assignment. After that I will make sure that you can disappear." Amit nodded. He would not desert his friend in the face of danger. But once this last assignment was over, he would be free. Free to find a new life, hopefully with Tari.

He called her that night, to let her know he would be in Washington the next week, and hoped to be able to fly to San Diego after the conference to spend a few days with her. That was all he told her – he wanted to be face to face with her when he told her of his plans of leaving Moussad. Tari was delighted – it seemed like forever since they had seen each other, and compared to Tel Aviv, Washington was just a hop, skip and a jump from San Diego. As she hung up the phone, her mind started working. She picked up the receiver again and dialed the number for her boss at NCIS San Diego. Supervisory Agent Neil Hammond answered on the first ring and was happy to hear from his favorite consultant/analyst, as always. "Tari – that's a surprise. What can I do for you?" "Hi Neil – I need a favor – I need to fly to Washington next week, can you clear my assignments for me?" "Washington?" "Yes – it's for personal reasons – just a little vacation at our nation's capital." He chuckled, and a thought popped in his mind. "Tari – do you think you'd have time to do some consulting work at NCIS HQ while you're there?" Her interest peaked she replied. "Sure – what do you have?" "They are having the Director conference there next week and have asked for a couple of analysts to tackle a ton of files they have been given to review. You know – read and summarize. Easy stuff. I can get you on that assignment if you like. You put in a few hours a day and get paid for it – what do you say?" Tari was thrilled. "Sounds like a great plan to me. Just tell me when to show up at the airport." Neil laughed. "I'll have my secretary email you the details. Have a great flight."

Amit Hadar was in a bad mood. This trip was not going well. It was obvious that Eli David was the target of a team of assassins, as well as Director Vance. He had spent the better part of the day acting out possible scenarios of ambush with the other Israeli team and the NCIS agents under Supervisory Agent Gibbs. On top of it, Eli was stashed in a safe house and chafing mightily at the confinement, which meant he had not been able to get in touch with Tari yet, as he had hoped. They had played a few rounds of chess, but that did nothing to improve either man's mood. So he was not unhappy to see Gibbs appear in the doorway. After a brief discussion the three men left – Gibbs and Eli to take a walk, Amit to do his job as Eli's shadow, from an NCIS surveillance van, much to his disagreement. Just as he feared, the terrorists were nearby, but the two teams were able to apprehend two of them, and Eli, Gibbs and Amit returned to NCIS headquarters. While the two directors disappeared in Director Vance's office, and the NCIS team had a team meeting, Amit ducked out to find a quiet corner to call Tari. But as he walked out into the stairway, a flash of red caught his eye. He turned to have a closer look, and sure enough there she was, Tari, carrying an armful of file folders, headed for the elevator. He hurried after her and caught up as the elevator doors were starting to close. "hold the elevator" he said with a smile.

Tari swung around, file folders raining to the floor. Her eyes lit up like fireworks on the 4th of July. "Amit!" With that she launched herself at him and he had no choice but to catch her and fold her into a tight embrace. "Tari! What are you doing here?" He asked. She hit the hold button of the elevator and quickly caught him up on her assignment. "I figured we might have more time together if I came here" she ended. Amit smiled. "That's my girl, always thinking." He brushed his lips over hers. "I wish I had time for more, but we'll be heading out any minute to meet up with the other directors. Once Eli is settled, I'll be free for the rest of the day. Will you be here?" "Oh, absolutely" Tari answered. "I have plenty to do to keep me busy until you get back" she said, motioning towards the files that were scattered on the floor. Amit crouched down and started gathering them up and handing them back to her. "Here you go – I'll get back here as soon as I can. We have a lot to talk about." She gave him a quizzical look. He smiled and kissed her again, quickly. "Don't look so worried – it's all good news." He said. Then he reluctantly hit the release button and the elevator doors opened again. He stepped out, then turned around and stepped back in and let them close behind him again. Tari looked at him. "Did you forget something?" She asked. He looked at her and felt an odd sense of urgency. "Just this – I love you!" He said. Before she could answer the elevator doors swished open again, and another analyst entered. Amit stepped out and headed back towards the NCIS pen to wait for Eli. He had surprised himself – he had planned to tell her that and his plans for the future later on, over dinner perhaps. He didn't know what had made him blurt it out just then, but it was done. He would have a chance to talk to her later. After a brief discussion with Director Vance the two directors headed to the hotel where the conference was being held, accompanied by Amit and Ziva, Eli's estranged daughter, now an NCIS agent. But luck was not with them, despite all precautions, they ran into an ambush as they were entering the hotel through the kitchen. While Ziva returned fire, Amit rushed the two directors back to their car and headed towards the safe house, tires squealing on the asphalt as he tore out of the alley, leaving Ziva and the NCIS team to handle the situation at the hotel. They arrived at the safe house a few minutes later. Amit walked ahead, gun drawn, ready for anything, but no one blocked their path and they reached the apartment door at the end of the hallway without incident. Amit opened it cautiously, but there was no sign of an intruder. Breathing a sigh of relief he motioned for Eli and Vance to enter, stepped inside behind them after a last look down the hallway, and let the door swing shut behind him. He was just about to tell the two men to relax when hell erupted in the shape of a huge explosion. He hurled himself towards Eli, to shield him with his body, then everything went black.

Tari returned to her cubicle, with a slightly stunned expression on her face. She sat down at her desk, carefully setting the files on it and slowly a smile spread on her face. He loved her. He had never said that to her before. Oh, she felt his affection, she knew he cared, but he had never said these three words, and nor had she. She wished there had been enough time for her to tell him that she loved him too, but now it would have to wait till later. Still smiling she opened the nearest file folder and began to read.

A loud ringing made his head hurt. He tried to open his eyes, but everything was dark. It was hard to breathe. Smoke? What was that noise? Amit was laying on the floor of the safe house, amidst the destruction left by the explosion. He tried to get up. Where was Eli, where was Vance? He didn't seem to be able to move. He coughed and tasted blood. Not good, he thought. Suddenly there was Eli, leaning over him. He felt a huge sense of relief. Eli was ok. He had done his job well. He tried to speak, but Eli layed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't try to speak, old friend." He tried to focus his eyes on Eli. What was that in his hand? Eli unbuttoned his coat and jacket – probably trying to assess his injuries. There – a flash of something metal – a syringe? "You will thank me later, old friend" said Director Eli David as he plunged the needle into Amit's chest and depressed the plunger. And again, everything went dark.

Tari was deeply immersed in her files when she became aware of activity in the bull pen. She checked her watch – it was 3 hours since Amit had left. Surely he should be back by now. She walked down to the bull pen and asked the first person she found, Agent McGee. "What's going on? " McGee gave her a hurried accounting of the ambush at the hotel, and that there had been another attack at the safe house. Tari felt her heart stop. "What of Director David and Vance, and what of Officer Hadar? Did anyone get hurt?" "I don't know the details yet; we are waiting for Gibbs to get back here. All I know is that Director Vance was wounded and taken to the hospital." "Where is Gibbs?" Tari asked, struggling to keep her voice even. "I think he's with Dr. Mallard" said McGee. Tari thanked him and ran towards the elevator that would take her down to the morgue. She had been down there a couple of times before, and it did not hold any horrors for her. She pushed through the double doors and to her relief, found Gibbs there, talking to Dr. Mallard, next to one of the autopsy tables. "Agent Gibbs" she called out. "Yes, Miss Smith – what is it?" Gibbs turned around and took a step towards her. And by taking that step he revealed the body on the autopsy table. The body of Officer Amit Hadar, who had died trying to protect his director and friend.

Tari froze, her mind refusing to process the incomprehensible truth of what was before her. Then she walked towards the table. Gibbs tried to block her way but something in her face made him step aside. Dr. Mallard was standing on the other side of the table, a puzzled look on his face. Tari had been down here before, but never had she shown such a reaction at the sight of a dead body. She reached the table and looked down at the man she had spoken to only a few hours ago. There was so much blood. She didn't realize the soft keening sound she heard came from her own throat. She reached out and took his hand, not quite cold yet, still pliable. She lifted it to her face and laid it against her cheek. Tears ran down her face and splashed on his face, mixing with the blood and grime there. She touched his face with her other hand, brushing dust and ash off his skin, smoothing his hair, and she thought she would go mad with grief. She was barely aware of Gibbs trying to move her away from the table. She shrugged him off, and leaned down to kiss him, one last time. "I love you too" she whispered, not caring that her face was now smudged with his blood. She wanted to shake him, scream at him to wake up, to open his eyes and talk to her, but she remained silent.

"Miss Smith – come on. Come with me" It was Dr. Mallard who gently led her away, back to his office, where he poured a stiff brandy. Obviously there was something going on here that no one had been aware of. He was gravely concerned about the young woman. Her face was stark white, her eyes big as saucers and unfocused – she was clearly in shock. He lifted the glass to her lips. "Here, take a sip". Tari swallowed the brandy, then coughed when the bite of the alcohol hit her throat. But it had the desired effect and some color returned to her face. She looked up into the concerned faces of Gibbs and Dr. Mallard. "What happened, Gibbs?" She asked. Gibbs ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. "They ran into an ambush at the safe house. He gave his life for Eli David" he said, as if that made any difference to her. Tari listened, nodded and then rose. "thank you for telling me" she said, her voice barely a whisper. She returned to her cubicle long enough to pick up her purse, and returned to her hotel. Operating purely on auto pilot she booked the next flight back to San Diego. As Washington DC disappeared behind her she stared out of the plane window. She was going home, but her heart and soul remained behind, with the man she loved, the man who never had the chance to tell her the important news he had talked about. And she felt a part of her die inside.

"This should never have happened" Dr. Mallard shook his head as he took a shot of brandy himself. Gibbs looked at him helplessly. "You're right, Ducky, but I had no idea that she knew him." He ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated and upset. This had been one hell of a day, they had lost one man, Director Vance was in critical condition and no one seemed to know where Eli David was. His team and the Israelis were out looking for him, and he hoped they would find him before the third assassin could finish the job he had started. "Well" Dr. Mallard put down the glass. "I might as well start the autopsy – not that we don't already know what killed him. "With that he walked over to the autopsy table, scalpel in hand. Just as he bent over the body to make the Y incision that started every autopsy, he heard the door to the morgue swish open. "I would very much appreciate if you didn't do that, Dr. Mallard." Both Gibbs and Dr. Mallard looked up to see Eli David stand in the door, looking disheveled and dirty, but apparently not much worse for wear from the explosion that had killed his friend.

"Eli – what the hell? Where have you been – I have two teams out looking for you?" Eli walked up to the table and looked down on his friend. Dr. Mallard looked confused. "Director David – why do you object to the autopsy – it is standard procedure and I assure you I will perform it with the utmost respect for your and Officer Hadar's believes." Eli shook his head and gave a wry smile. "You misunderstand, Dr. Mallard. I do not object on religious grounds, neither Hadar nor I are religious men. I object due to the fact that this man is not dead." Both Gibbs and Dr. Mallard looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "Oh I assure you – he is quite dead. I examined him myself." Eli pulled something out of his pocket. A empty syringe that he handed to Dr. Mallard. "This is a highly effective neuro toxin. Injected into the heart it simulates death almost perfectly. And, by slowing down heart and reducing blood pressure to nearly nothing, it also prevents a badly wounded body from bleeding out before help arrives. Israeli scientists have developed this for use in combat. If you have a close look at Hadar's chest you will see the pin prick hole over his heart where I injected him." The two other men stared at him as if he had lost his mind. Finally Gibbs spoke. "Eli – why in the world would you do that? What the devil is going on?" Eli smiled and rested a hand on Hadar's shoulder. "I am keeping a promise to an old friend". "Eli, you have to do better than that. None of this makes sense – you're in the middle of an attack, and you inject a deadly neuro toxin into your old friend and top body guard? Start talking."

"A few days before coming here, Hadar told me he wanted out. Out of Moussad and out of the life he's been living. Apparently there is a young lady in his life that prompted that wish. I promised him after this mission I would help him to get out in a way that he'll be safe and free to start a new life. I had a plan, involving the neuro toxin and faking his death so his enemies would not bother to look for him. Before I had a chance to talk to him about it, we walked into the ambush at the safe house. When I came to after the explosion, I found him, alive but badly wounded, and I realized that not only was the neuro toxin his only chance to survive, but we'd never find a more perfect opportunity to convince the world that he died. I injected him and activated his phone to be sure your team would find him quickly. " "Well, that's all great – but does he look good to you? At best he's in a total coma and who knows what side effects that poison of yours has." "Well, I had to think on my feet. There is an antidote, to be injected once his injuries have been tended to and he is out of danger. For now he's better off like this". Gibbs looked at him skeptically, but Dr. Mallard nodded. "Yes, Jethro – Director David is correct. Until his injuries are treated, the slower his heart beats, the better a chance he has to survive. "Eli looked pleased. "Now comes the part where I need your help. I need him taken to a private and discreet hospital where he can recover. And I want a new identity for him, as an American citizen. Complete with background history and bank account. Once all that is established we will deposit enough money into his account that he can go where ever he chooses and live comfortably – he has earned it – over and over. Can you help me with that?" Gibbs looked at him thoughtfully. "I'm sure we can work something out there – after all – he risked his life not only for you but for Director Vance as well." Great relief showed on Eli's face. "Thank you, Gibbs – this means a lot to me. "

San Diego, 3 months later

It was one of those late summer afternoons when the marine layer had come to shore early and wrapped everything in a light mist. Tari was sitting on the steps that lead from her patio down to the beach, staring out over the ocean. It had been a rough three months since she returned from Washington. At first she had barely been able to get out of bed, her grief was paralyzing. But after a few days she realized that Hadar would not have wanted this for her. So she got up, and tried to resume her life. Working with NCIS was out of the question – too many ways to be reminded of that day in Washington. But the Museum of Man in San Diego asked her to consult on the translation of Egyptian papyri and she gladly accepted. By burying herself in ancient history she did not have to deal with the present and the never easing longing in her heart for something that could never be. She was angry at herself for not being able to let go, to move on. To grieve and accept her loss and allow herself to heal. But she couldn't. For some insane reason her mind would not let go – and she caught herself in day dreams over and over again. Day dreams where there was a knock on her door and he'd be standing there, telling her it was all a mistake, and he was ok. Tari jammed her hands into the tangle of her hair and sighed. It had to stop – even if it meant seeking professional help. She had looked up grief counseling on the net and copied down some phone numbers. Maybe it was time to call one of them. She looked up and realized it had gotten dark. "How long have I been sitting out here?" She wondered. Turning to head back up the stairs she looked at her house. It looked lonely in the dark – no lights on. She shivered suddenly and resolutely started up the stairs. Time to turn some lights on and brew some tea, she thought.

"Tari" She whipped around, almost losing her footing. Had she really heard that or was it another figment of her imagination? She stood still, listening. "Tari" There it was again, closer this time, coming from below – from the beach. She saw someone approaching, barely a shadow against the darkness, but her heart started beating faster. "Oh no " she thought "now it's hallucinations! I really need help." But although her head tried to tell her to go, she stayed and tried to get a better look. The shadow gained more substance as he drew closer, and then he was in front of her. "Tari" he breathed, and she knew his voice. "Amit? But how – I saw your body – you were dead!" The words tumbled from her lips, even as she ran down the steps towards him. She didn't care if it was a hallucination. Amit caught her at the bottom of the steps and crushed her in a hard embrace. She felt his solid frame, his broad chest, felt his arms around her. She reached up to touch his face, to feel the warmth of his skin under her fingertips. "How?" She asked, her whole expressive face one big question mark. He looked at her, saw the pain in her eyes, and leaned down to kiss her tenderly. "I am so sorry, Tari, that you had to go through all of this" he said finally, after reluctantly ending the kiss. "That was never part of any plan." "Plan, what plan?" She asked, confused. One arm wrapped around her shoulder he lead her up the stairs to her patio, where they settled on one of the lounge chairs. Amidst kisses and caresses he told her of his plan to leave Moussad, and Eli's promise to help him. "You knew this was going to happen and you didn't tell me?" Tari was outraged. "Do you know what I've been through these past three months? I thought you were dead. I saw your dead body! I thought you were dead!" she yelled, all her grief and anger finally boiling to the surface, her tears flowing for the first time since that day in the morgue. He pulled her close, letting her get it out. When she finally calmed down, he continued.

"There was no plan, at least none I was aware of. We were ambushed before Eli could fill me in, and he had to improvise. "He told her the story. "But I saw you – you were so terribly injured – there was so much blood!" He closed his eyes, feeling her pain. "Tari, that should have never happened. You should never have seen that. I am so sorry. I didn't find out about any of this until weeks later when I woke up in a hospital in Maryland." He continued telling her about his waking up in the hospital, not knowing where he was, and who he was. "A side effect of Eli's miracle cure" he quipped with a lopsided grin. "Once my memory came back, and my injuries were healing, Gibbs came to visit and filled me in on everything. " "So what happens now?" she asked. He smiled and gave her a squeeze. "That's the best part. Since I am officially dead – I heard I had a lovely hero's funeral in Tel Aviv – I am a free man, to go wherever I want to. And the first and only place I wanted to go to was here – to you. I didn't mean to ambush you on the beach, I rang the door bell you weren't there, and no lights were on, so I walked around back to see if you were on the patio. "Tari looked at him, wide eyed, her brain struggling to take it all in. She reached up and traced the contours of his handsome face. "You're really free from Moussad? For real? You won't have to leave again?" "never again, unless you ask me to" he answered. "But what will you do? You don't officially exist." "Well, that is not entirely true" he said with a smile. "Amit Hadar is dead, meet Adam Handler, naturalized American citizen" Tari started to smile as she realized what he was telling her. "They gave you a new identity" "They did indeed. And with this new identity comes a rather large bank account. Tari, we can go wherever we want, do whatever we went, we are set for life." Her head was spinning, and her heart felt like it was ready to explode in sheer happiness. She didn't care about the bank account, all she knew was, she was whole again, and she'd never have to say good bye to him again. "There was something I meant to tell you that day – and I never got the chance" she said, looking up at him. "What was that?" He asked. "I love you too" she smiled and pulled his face close to kiss him.

Egypt – somewhere on the Nile – one month later

Tari stretched and woke up slowly. The sun poured in through the windows of the cabin. She took in the gauzy curtains that surrounded the large bed, felt the slight movement of the ship and smiled. This was the trip of a life time – something she had wanted to do as long as she could remember – a cruise up the Nile, stopping at all the interesting historical landmarks, and more importantly – her honeymoon. She felt movement next to her and turned to study her new husband. The pure joy of looking at him made her heart jump a little. In the muted sunlight she could see the scars on his body – reminders of another life. Another reminder of that other life was his ability to go from deep sleep to totally awake in a split second. He opened his eyes and smiled. "Hey you – enjoying the view?" She laughed "oh, immensely. But speaking of views – we should go on deck – the steward told me we'll be reaching the pyramids soon. I hear it is quite the spectacle – to see the sun set behind them, from the deck of this ship. " He smiled. She was glowing with happiness and excitement, a happiness that was mirrored by his own. They got dressed quickly and reached the upper deck of the cruise ship just as the ship rounded a bend in the river and there in front of them were the pyramids, rising majestically against the red sky. They stood close, his arms around her and watched in silent awe. "Gives you a sense of eternity, doesn't it" she murmured. He held her tighter and said quietly "you're my eternity – all I'll ever need."

In Tel Aviv Eli David looked through the day's mail. Amidst countless letters and report, a brightly colored postcard caught his eye. The front showed a photo collage of Ancient Egyptian landmarks. The back read: Greetings from Egypt! Thinking of you on our honeymoon. Thanks for everything. Nefertari and Adam. Eli smiled – it looked like his old friend had found what he was looking for.


End file.
